Every time I've sat down to write about quitting my career, I've always been unsure of where to start. Today, a year and several months later, I sit here at a coffee shop with a cup of espresso and cream in front of me, thinking it will coax me along. I know it will, but I also know that I have an ocean of words, memories, and feelings still swirling around in my head and nudging all of that to my fingertips feels like an overwhelming task. Also prone to self-induced pressure, I’ve decided to write over a period of time and share this story in three parts.

To help me arrange my words and start a frame of mind, I've even gone the formal grammar route and prepared an outline (my English teachers would be proud), but telling this story of a seasoned career spanning years means that even though I've processed through my decision, maybe I'm not as prepared to delve into the depths of the details like I thought. I know it's more than alright to revisit the past in hopes of bringing more clarity and affirmation, but starting to officially type it out seems to be a final piece of laying down what was. That in itself is a strange feeling and one that perhaps I’ve been avoiding.

As I've stated before, this website and its content is solely created to document the seasons of my own life. However, for those who may be on the cusp of quitting a longstanding career in whatever field and for whatever reason, my hope for this post and the following ones is that in sharing my story that it can provide some encouragement to your heart and validate what you already know and feel.

I remember when I first started seriously thinking of quitting my career. While I loved and appreciated my clients, the feeling of burnout had grown quickly and I was feeling tapped out. It may sound ridiculous, but I had searched the internet in hopes of finding hairstylists who had made the decision to quit solely due to burnout. First off, NO ONE needs to search the internet to justify their feelings and decisions, but I felt alone—and honestly, I felt guilty for even thinking of quitting. In my Midwest experience, the choice of any well established hairstylist I knew deciding to remove themselves from the hair industry was made to either pursue another solid career path or to be a stay at home mom and be even more present for their kids. Each a hard and rewarding job in itself, but the only familiar ways of leaving the industry.

At the time, my internet search had returned void as I could only gather tips of learning how to scale my business back and how to cope with burnout. I was already doing those things (setting boundaries, taking time off, scaling back, etc.), so I told myself that continuing to entertain the idea of quitting did not make sense—I still had no alternative career path lined up, no interest in taking classes, and no little one waiting for me at home.

Everyone will experience burnout on some level, so I knew that most would understand the feeling of burnout. Unfortunately, I think most humans operate until they're running on fumes and then continue to run themselves into the ground—especially for the sake of money and pride! In writing my story, I want to be very understanding of circumstances and seasons that don’t allow for much freedom from burnout, but when there IS an opportunity to seize change—well, I was learning to be courageous enough to grab it as well as learning that burnout is never a badge of honor. I was trying to be brave, but choosing to shake things up was scary and I believed that everyone (co-workers, society, but especially my clientele) would think me crazy to quit because of burnout alone, especially with no solid back up plan.

I was also battling so much guilt over having an incredibly supportive husband and being acutely aware that I was very blessed as there was no immediate rush for me to secure income if I did indeed quit. The flip side of that was that I had been working since I was thirteen. As it is to most humans, making my own money was enticing and something to be proud of and the possibility of not bringing in a consistent income was incredibly foreign and felt lazy. The previous years and current lies had taught me that resting meant you weren't responsible or a hard worker, resting would not make you money, resting was lazy, and no one quits without a backup plan or a reason worthy to society, the industry, and those affected.

Another thing that was familiar to the beauty industry? Powering through burnout, especially for good money.

My thoughts were overwhelming and I quickly realized I cared too much about what other people thought, and at the time, I couldn't understand why it was so crippling.

It's very common for people to think that all hairstylists and makeup artists have desired to be one ever since they were little. As much as I'd like to say that was true for me, it just wasn't. However, I did have a lot of practice! I had a large amount of dolls and Barbies to play with—and don't get me started on Lil Miss Makeup that I received for Christmas in 1989. Magic makeup that appeared with cold water? SO amazing. With the array of my plastic friends, I was always busy brushing and braiding hair and applying makeup multiple times over!

As I got older, my mom continued to run a very successful, structured, and welcoming in-home daycare. Perhaps an unofficial hairstylist herself, she was aware that a day's worth of hard play was bound to ruffle some hair out of place and took it upon herself to always get the kids ready and presentable at the end of each day for their parent pickup. To this day, I think it was a very sweet (and parent appreciated) gesture that included gently brushing the kids' hair, re-braiding, and fixing and attaching barrettes and bows back into place. It was a fun and thoughtful task that I liked to partake in, and while I liked experimenting with different braiding techniques and could appreciate the results, I never had a light bulb moment of knowing what I wanted to do with the rest of my life.

The truth is, as I graduated high school, I identified with the majority of how graduates felt at the time and really wasn't sure what I wanted to be "when I grew up". What I did learn from my own hairstylist at the time was that it was important to continue my education after high school. She had told me of how she had jumped right into beauty school and never went to college until then (years later at the time). She was enjoying her classes but the regret of not starting sooner was evident and I tucked away that piece of information. While some senior graduates had chosen to take a year off of school to continue deciding what to do with their lives, I chose to complete a simple two year degree at our local community college. I still wasn't sure what I wanted to do after that, but at least I had two years to decide and a current plan of action. However, as the two years drew to a close, I became a bit worried. I was now slightly more grown up and had appreciated the structure and the continued comfort of attending school, but unfortunately, I still didn't know what I wanted to do! From my previous babysitting experience, I knew I was great at watching over kids, but becoming a teacher or being in a field like social work wasn't for me. Sorting through my other options didn't strike one bit of interest in me either.

What I did know is that I enjoyed being artistic and creative. I arrived at the decision that I wanted a career where I could tap into my creativity and have the opportunity to make others feel seen, beautiful, and loved. Pursuing that interest, I thought of my own hairstylist and how she made me feel after time spent with her as well as receiving a great haircut. Remembering her words and now having two years of further education under my belt, I decided it was time to follow in her footsteps and give beauty school a try myself. I was nervous, but I felt I was finally stepping into a clear and hopefully fulfilling direction—spoiler alert :: it was! Feel free to read more about my first days in beauty school, the first salon I could call home, and how a group of sweet co-workers turned friends made such a huge impact on my life!

Back in the day, graduating beauty school meant that you had learned the basics, but the real training came during the first weeks at your new salon. Some salons required you to be an assistant stylist until they felt comfortable and trusted you enough to handle your own business while others threw you onto the floor with a revolving door of walk-in clients to call your own!

I was so blessed in having the Lord place me at my first salon. To be given the position of an official stylist from my first moments, yet still have the opportunity to help, observe, and glean advice, tips, and tricks from seasoned co-workers was the best of both worlds and something I treasured. I was excited to add to and create an even more meticulous skill set of my own, and in doing so, my confidence grew and I was grateful to start forming a clientele that could appreciate, but more importantly, benefit from the way I preferred to work.

Beauty school basics will always remain the same, but the unique tips and tricks of the industry are constantly evolving—and when I felt stuck and didn't know what to do? I realized it was always best to be honest with myself. It was best to humble myself, seek out answers, and ask for help instead of forging on ahead. Continued education in any field and industry is always important, and thanks to the array of social media available today, there is no excuse to not learn something new. And, while it's always easy to ask questions and glean from those you trust, it's also important to push yourself out of your comfort zone and seek out solutions and answers to your questions by utilizing new resources along the way!

For those who may be curious, the best piece(s) of advice I could give a new hairstylist would be to stay focused, attentive, compassionate, and willing to learn : which means : stay in your lane, SLOW DOWN, be meticulous to the core, always ensure the comfort of your guests, love your co-workers well, and always ask or seek out answers when you don't know.

As I've quit my career, I've realized even more so how much I enjoyed the way I performed my job. I can be proud of and not ever be sorry for not being as fast as or exactly like someone else. I can rest in the fact that I always did my best, I never cut corners, and my work spoke for itself. The phrase "fake it 'til you make it" is far too rampant in the beauty industry, and let me assure you—by taking the time to practice and master all of the above, your confidence and self awareness will grow naturally, you will NOT be faking it, and you WILL make it—and far.

As much as a skill set (and mindset) is continually sharpened (just like a hairstylist's scissors) to do a job well done and to keep clients satisfied, there are always other factors to consider when wanting to continue that contentment—not only for your clients but for yourself. One of those factors is the right salon environment.

As most hairstylists would agree, it's common that most do not stay in one salon space for long. Everyone has their reasons for moving around, but for a seasoned and conscientious stylist, switching locations is always a huge decision and can be intimidating. However, after weighing valid reasons and reasonable options, providing a new environment can make all the difference for you and your clients!

I prided myself in remaining at my first salon for 6.5 years, but as it was a bit inevitable, I ventured on to another space for 3.5 years, and then another for 2 years. I was always grateful that each salon provided what I needed in that particular season of time, but as I grew in my career, I realized there were things that were too important to continue overlooking and trying to make work. Eventually, due to many factors that had started to affect both me and my clients, I finally made the big decision to make one more move and rent an individual salon suite.

Salon suites are becoming incredibly trendy throughout the industry and the intrigue is high. You have the opportunity to be your own boss (even more so than a booth rental stylist), call the shots on how your individual room is styled, and conduct business as you'd like. At first, some thought suite spaces were best for stylists who couldn't get along or jive well with others—and while that may be true in some cases, I think the overarching interest and agenda is for the creative entrepreneurial spirit. For the one who wants to own their own salon without the high overhead, extra people, and risks attached. It provides an opportunity to fully thrive. However, a suite isn't for everyone—stylists who flourish by being around others might even hate the idea. I myself was always intrigued by these places, but I couldn't justify spending extra money every week and therefore thought it a dream that was unattainable. Although dreams are a funny thing and I allowed myself to continue daydreaming. After spending a lot of time in prayer, weighing my options, and looking at the numbers, I eventually arrived at the conclusion that the extra money spent would be worth the overall comfort of both me and my clients and provide an environment we all needed!

Calling my own shots, I chose to create a cozy suite space. Naming it Wren's Nest, a nod to a treasured nickname, I was determined to make it a retreat where anyone could relax—mind, body, and soul. As exciting as it was, it was physically, mentally, and emotionally draining to start again in yet another new space. That being said, and quite an unpopular decision with fellow suite owners, I chose not sell any kind of retail product. My entire career up until that point had involved selling retail alongside my co-workers and there were always contests, spreadsheets, and commission to excite, guilt, and bribe us into selling more. While I always cared about my clients’ hair and enjoyed talking about what products I loved working with and why, I knew myself well enough to know that I was never great at pushing product and I was choosing to end that. I wanted to focus on what was most important to me—and surprising and appalling to most, that wasn't extra money. Besides, dealing with added taxes and paperwork was not of interest to me. I chose instead to use my shelves and wall space to display decorative items that spoke of coziness, truth, and encouragement—not just for my clients, but for myself. Unfortunately, a few surrounding and personal circumstances had made it really hard to enjoy, be proud of, and process my decision (as well as the preparation of and first weeks in the suite), but I became all the more grateful of having the opportunity to create a simple and encouraging space of my choosing—one that my guests and I could have the privilege of returning to every day.

It was a small and quite space—a “nest” if you will. I could shut the door, work as I needed, relax in solitude, come and go as I please, curate my own playlists, and most importantly, invite and welcome others into a safe haven that I had created—and all with no added pressure. That's the way I liked it, what I was determined to continue, and what my own soul needed throughout the next two years.

As we've arrived at this point in the timeline, I hope this post has brought a little bit of insight as to why I chose my career in the first place and I hope you've enjoyed tagging along behind the scenes! It was therapeutic to tap into my thoughts once again and begin to officially document these details for myself. I feel I’ve set the stage, and next week, I’ll be diving deeper into validating burnout, what sparked my curiosity to dream outside of my box, and the hard reality of saying no and saying goodbye!

I’d love for you to join me again!

Thank you for being here and for reading,